


Of Pranks and Broomsticks

by Chat_Noir1331



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bad Puns, Crossover, Dissing Hogwarts, Dumbledore Bashing, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hermione Granger Bashing, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Nicknames, Pranking group, Pranks, References to so many things, Ron Weasley Bashing, So is Bruce, They adopted eachother, They are trash, Tony and Kellie are Bro's, cosplay mentioned, mainly the people in it, meant to be funny, quotes, so am I, so much bashing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-04 08:14:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12766809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chat_Noir1331/pseuds/Chat_Noir1331
Summary: Kellie (fem harry) just wanted to have fun on her last school year after a full summer. Not be invited to join a superhero group called the Avengers. Or meet the God of mischief himself and if that wasn't enough. But to be chosen to represent her school in some competition in England. Add that said God started to court her well...Kellie just glad she remembered her gun and black belt.





	1. The Begining

It was a stormy night when young Kellie violet potter defeated the greatest dark lord since Morgana le fey or so they claimed.

And all she had to show for it was a small scar on her forehead and the loss of her loving parents but not all was good for while our young hero slept sinister plots about her began and all from one man, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore headmaster of the esteemed school Hogwarts of witchcraft and wizardry.

Now you may ask why a headmaster would be having sinister thoughts of a child not even one...or a child at all for that matter.

You see Albus Dumbledore (a man of 150 years give or take) would be described as eccentric but brilliant and while that is true there are darker parts of his psyche then most would think.

You see the loss of his dear friend and lover Gellert Grindelwald to what he would describe as the dark side cost him more than he let one his strive to eradicate all things dark was one side effect his need for fame another.

So while the rest of wizarding Britain was celebrating he left the famous child Saviour to his maternal aunt knowing that she would not be treated as a part of the family but a slave.

At least that's what he thought. You see Albus Dumbledore made one mistake that night and that was thinking that Petunia Dursley was an ordinary if spiteful muggle.

And that she would never welcome the child of her late sister into her 'perfect'' family and would stay in Britain.

But as it was the minute Petunia saw her cute niece lying in a blanket on the doorstep one winter morning. She packed everything that her family owned put her own son in the back of the car and left.

Petunia and Vernon had been expecting this for a few months you see, and they were ready to move to a nice house in America at a moments notice. Just as Petunias prediction had told her to.

This was because while Petunia 'Evens' Dursley was not a witch she was a very powerful seer. Something only her late sister and husband knew about.

And she had seen the trouble Albus Dumbledore would cause for her niece and her family if they stayed anywhere near England. As it was Britain would not see their child saviour for many years. And when Kellie did return it would only be with her closest friends...and pranking buddies that Petunia would be sure of.

Fifteen Years Later.

Get up quickly you're going be late for practice" a woman voice sung, whilst standing outside the bedroom door waking the girl inside of the room.Who instead of getting up just rolled over and tried to go back to sleep "Its 6 am on a Sunday please let me sleep" was the moaned response from the lump in the bed.

A large sigh could be heard from outside of the room and the women replied in an annoyingly happy voice "you know you have to go or your sensei will just come looking for you and you know what happened last time" with this the girl sat up straight away.

Getting ready up quickly the girl all but screamed "I'm up I'm up" Chuckling could be heard from the now identified Petunia Dursley as she left her very beautiful 16-year-old niece to get ready for her Aikido practice.It had been 15 years since that awful night that had left her niece orphaned and in the clutches of that meddling old man, or so he thought anyway.

She had made sure he could not find Kellie and that her vaults were sealed so he couldn't steal from her either. Because of who Kellie is in England, Petunia and her husband had signed their niece up for a lot of self-defence classes.This had excellent results as now Kellie could now fire most gun's use a bow and arrow better than most and had recently become one of the youngest students to become a black belt and stay at the same level as her sensei in America.It's now only experience that stopped her from being better than him...and the fact that she will never be as crazy as her sensei or so Petunia hoped.

While her niece was making her very proud her son was not being idle either. He had followed his cousin's example and had become the under 18 heavyweight champion for boxing, the captain of the basketball team and an amazing runner for his school track team.

All in all, she was very proud of her two children and could not wait to see the people they would become. But while she and her husband had been ensuring that they were both well prepared for life. They had not forgotten about their niece's magic education and had enrolled her in a school that had both mundane classes (the term muggle was thought to be offensive) but magic also it is just like a normal high school only with more classes and longer hours...

Back to our young hero. Kellie was running around the room like a headless chicken getting her things ready. She did not want a repeat of the day that will not be named. Her friends had laughed at her for calling it that but in all honesty, it had scared badly. I mean who would want their sensei burst through the wall dressed as Gai from Naruto spandex and all and then start shouting about how unyouthful she was being.

That being said it was an amazing Prank on her Sensei's part if very disturbing but not something that she wanted to repeat.Just as she finished getting ready she looked in the mirror she had definitely grown out of that awkward stage all teenagers got.  
Her knee-length black hair was done up in a plat that came to her low back she had gotten her mother's perfect figure which her martial arts had only helped. Amazing gem-like green eyes and not to mention her milk-like skin. All in all, she had grown into a very beautiful girl if she said so herself (which she did).

Maybe that's why her cousin had taken to walking her to school it wasn't that she couldn't take care of herself but she did make a nice target she thought giving herself a final look. "Hair up, check. Aikidōgi on, check. Hakama in bag properly, check. Alright time to go." She had a final look around her room that had all her favourite things in the world. Her gun in its case (she got a licence a year ago) at her bedside. Her favourite bow and arrow set on the wall meant to look like decoration (she has a licence for that too but best to surprise any enemies you may have) and finally her lovely, warm, inviting...Ok, she had to stop these thoughts or she would just go back to sleep it was still ridiculously early.

'Think of sensei in spandex' ok that did it without turning back Kellie ran from her room down the stairs, through the kitchen. Yelling her goodbyes to her cousin and uncle who were sitting at the table, not at all startled at her exit as it happened almost every Sunday. They just nodded and wished her success for her day before going back to eating. They were not to know just what was about to happen or that Kellie's life was about to get flipped on its head...

Kellie had managed to get to her sensei's dojo in record time 5 minutes and 26 seconds to be accurate. And was in fact about ten minutes early as she did not have a key, unlike her sensei. So she had to wait outside. She elected to sit in the position her sensei had first taught her. Just in case of an attack. so she could meditate for the next ten minutes or so.As she had her eyes closed she did not see the two people, who were wearing rather interesting outfits walk up to her. Not that she needed to see them too notice them.

The man out of the pair put his hand on her shoulder and was about to talk. Until Kellie flipped him on to his back thinking it was her sensei. "Come on you have to do better than tha..." She was about to continue until she opened her eyes to see not her sensei on the floor. But a short sandy-haired guy in full body protection with a bag of arrows on his back.  
"Omg, I am so sorry I thought you were my sensei trying to creep up on me" Kellie exclaimed blushing a bit, but not really looking all that sorry. It didn't help her eyes were shining with barely contained glee.

The women with him, his partner Kellie thought to herself. Was attempting not to laugh at his predicament, but failing rather miserably to be honest."Ha-ha, you got taken down by a sixteen-year-old girl" the women sang happily, mocking her partner. The women whose name Kellie did not know, had to be in her early twenties or maybe nineteen. She had short red hair styled into a fashionable wave and pale green eyes. She was also wearing a full body black protection outfit with two small guns on her hips.  
'They have to be with some form of government agent. if not I will eat my hat' Kellie thought to herself not amused in the slightest.

"A sixteen-year-old who is a black belt on par with her insane sensei" Kellie added, she couldn't help but glare at the women when she said this. The women held her hands up.  
"Alright, I wasn't trying to offend you. I am Natasha Romanov and my partner that is currently on the floor in Clint Barton. But he prefers Hawkeye". Kellie looked at Natasha to see if she was lying. She looked like she was telling the truth but she could be a great liar. Kellie also had the feeling that Natasha was not as expressive as she appeared.

Clint decided to speak up for the first time "um do you mind letting me up" Kellie looked down to see that she was still pinning him to the floor by his arm."Oh sorry" Kellie slowly let him go. Just in case he wanted revenge for pinning him, not that he didn't deserve it. And got to her feet with him making sure that her back wasn't to them. She backed up a little so she could run down a nearby ally if they posed a threat to her.

"What do you guys want, if you are with the police then I didn't do what they accused me of," Kellie said the last bit rather fast. Natasha and Clint looked at each other in bemusement.

"no, we aren't with the police. But what have you done that makes you think we are" Clint said his voice going disapproving at the end.  
"Um," Kelli looked around for a few seconds "don't you worry about that. So who are you with".  
It was Natasha who answered this time "we are with SHIELD and have been sent to offer you a place in our new team. A team that would deal with threats that normal people can't." Kellie looked at them before answering.  
"First do I have a choice in this? and please tell me that you people don't want me to join some form of a team of superheroes, " she stated rather dryly.

Natasha and Clint looked pretty amused. "About you having a choice... well not really. I mean you could say no but we will keep asking. And yes it is basically a team of superheroes we said the same thing when they asked us." Clint answered looking a bit apologetic.Natasha said nothing but gave Kellie a look saying she understood. That she did not want to join either really, but to suck it up and to go with the flow.

"So what happens now," Kellie said rather awkwardly looking at Natasha and Clint "you are to come with us to get briefed and wait till we call you," Natasha said way to happy in her opinion. Just as she was about to give a scathing remark. Her sensei flew in doing his own dynamic entry.

"Hello my young student, how are you this lovely morning," her sensei said in greeting. Kellie without looking at him whacked him around the head with a fan that came out of nowhere."I am about ready to begin planning murder Sensei. You are late again. moreover, its way to early to be that loud" she added at the end of her sentence as an afterthought.Her sensei went to his corner to sulk before becoming just as bouncy. To the two shield agents who were not used to Sensei's behaviour this was a shock. They just kind of stood there with their mouths open in shock and getting a little whiplash with his mood swings.

"Um can we borrow your student for the day please? It's very important" Clint asked rather nervously the strange man who now seemed to be reading a strange orange book." you say something" Kellie looked at her sensei in annoyance before hitting him with her fan again."You heard" was all the girl said her sensei sighed in sadness before putting the book away and looking at the agents.  
"You may, all she would be doing today is teach some of the newbie's whilst I read my precious". When he said precious he got a perverted look on his face which made Kellie hit him with the fan yet again. Natasha was honestly wondering where it kept disappearing to. While Clint just wanted to leave quickly.

Unknown to all four of them they were being watched by a certain man, who while going through SHEILD'S database. He had seen her in the 'recruit for Avengers' category and was wondering why. Needless to say, he was impressed with what he saw. Not just anybody could flip Hawkeye onto his back, hell only the best could and she had done it with ease. He couldn't wait to meet her maybe he would look into her meeting with Fury it would provide him with some entertainment at the very least... He also made a mental note, not to go anywhere near her sensei as he seems to be missing a few screws in his head.


	2. And It Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A version of this story is on fanfiction and much further along so feel free to go read that if you can't wait for me to update this one. I am however rewriting and editing this version so hopefully, this one is a bit better.

Kellie was not having a good day first, she had to wake up at 6 am on a Sunday! Then two agents from shield came and pretty much forced her to join some team of superheroes. And now she had been shoved into the back of a car and blindfolded. I mean who blindfolds people now a day's, well when she meets the director or whoever the hell was in charge she would defiantly give them a piece of her mind. Now, however, she was happy to annoy the agents and the driver, whoever they are. By asking 'are we there yet' every five minutes and asking the most annoying questions she could come up with. Needless to say, Natasha and Clint were about to kill her when they finally arrived and took off her blindfold.  
When all three of them got into the building the driver going someplace else (probably a bar Kellie didn't even feel sorry for the guy). The first thing Kellie did was hit the two agents with her fan and yell at them for blindfolding her. Then she looked around curiously as she had never been inside a government facility before. It had long white hallways with doors that seemed to go nowhere, this made her natural curiosity bubble to the surface. She almost, keyword, almost peeked in a door but the hand Natasha had on her shoulder stopped her. "Now don't go looking at things you shouldn't" she made it sound like she was just commenting on the weather but both her and Clint could hear the threat in her voice.  
They made it to an office without any incidents which were amazing considering her luck it was right in the middle of the building and must have been the biggest one there which led her to believe that this was the director's office. Natasha knocked on the door and waited till a muffled come in was heard before she opened it. Inside there was a tall bald black man wearing the same black outfit as Clint but with a trench coat and an eye patch on his left eye, all in all, it was exactly like Kellie had pictured for the director for an organisation like SHIELD.  
He had a good look at her before speaking "welcome to shield I am happy you agreed to become an Avenger" before he could continue Kellie interrupted him "It's not like you gave me a choice and what is up with the blindfold really who uses blindfolds anymore in this day and age" her voice rising a little bit at the end of her rant. 

The man just blinked at her before continuing with what he was going to say "I am Nick Fury and I am the leader and Director of SHIELD and the avenger you were chosen because of your amazing talent with martial arts, guns, your experience with a bow and of course your skill with magic". 

The last bit was like he just added it on at the end completely disregarding the fact that with just two little words she could have him screaming in pain or in fits of giggles. Kellie gave Nick Fury her most why should I care look which made Natasha put a hand to her mouth to stop from laughing and turned around about to walk right out the door not even stopping at his surprised question of where are you going she didn't even stop to reply. "I am going back to my dojo as I could really care less at the moment call me when we are about to get invaded from an alien army until then I don't ever want to see your face again". 

With that, she walked right out of his office than his building until she reached an empty ally where she apparated to the alley next to her dojo and walked in like nothing had ever happened. Her sensei had looked up from the newbie her age and practically ran over to her where he hugged her muttering something about cute little students and orange books. He then yelled to the class that she was in charge and she would be teaching them and ran out, most likely to read his perverted book without her hitting him. He left an amused student and a lot of confused faces in his wake.  
She had to jinx it didn't she. Kellie thought to herself as her Aunt woke her up saying that there was a man from the government waiting for her. Ro her Aunts, credit though she was not acting frazzled like most would do if a man in black asked for their niece but calm like this sort of thing happened every day. The only thing that showed that it didn't would be the worry in her eyes not for herself, but for her only niece.  
"I can tell them to go away and come back later if you want" she offered her eyes shining at a chance to yell at the man who woke her up rather rudely. Kellie shook her head at her Aunts apparent glee at the thought of shouting at the mystery man.  
"No don't worry I told them not to call unless it was life or death it must be much worse if they gave me a house visit" though if it was only about her yelling at Nick fury she would beat the hell out of the man downstairs. She walked downstairs taking her time just to annoy the man that's what he gets for waking me up on my only day for a lie in she thought vindictively to herself but by her Aunts little giggle she might have mumbled it out loud. 

When she got downstairs her Aunt pushed her gently towards the living room with the promise of coffee in a few moments, she walked in and had a good look at the man well it wasn't Clint. The man was a few inches smaller and had less hair…and he was wearing a suit, all in all, he looked like an office worker, not an agent. "Pleasure to meet you I am Phil Coulson and I am with Shield."  
"I guessed" Kellie stated rather dryly Phil didn't seem fazed at her and just continued his little speech  
"I am here to bring you and one other team member to our HQ". At this Kellie got quite a bit annoyed.  
"This had better be an Alien invasion as I do actually have a life you know and I am not some kind of personal monkey" Phil to his credit looked a bit remorseful at her little rant and rather amused and was about to say something when her Aunt walked in with a big cup of coffee. 

When her Aunt had left Phil looked at her as said very seriously. "You are very right at the moment there is a threat of alien invasion" Kellie almost spat out her coffee.  
" Really" she exclaimed in dread at his nod she started cursing. All that Phil got was 'jinxed myself', 'my luck' and some other things that would make a seasoned agent blush. And something he had not expected to come out a 16-year-old girls mouth. After she stopped cursing and finished her coffee he told her to bring her weapons and get reading for a possible fight and to bring some spare clothes as he did not know how long it would take till all the fuss ended. 

Kellie ran upstairs to her room and put on a form-fitting black T-shirt and some dark green cargo pants with lots of pockets in them. She also grabbed her bulletproof vest her Aunt had got her when she had started shooting and her wrist protector for her bow and arrows. lastly, she put on her gun and Quiver which was full of arrows and put some heavy-duty combat boots on. She was more than ready for a fight and only grabbed her emergency packed bag which had some spear cloths and certain thing in and her bow. 

She made it downstairs after a good ten minutes to see Phil waiting by the door.  
"Come on we have to go pick up Tony Stark and that always fun" the last bit he said was practically dripping with sarcasm.  
"Alright as long as you are not going to blindfold me again are you because I will send an evil bored joker after you."  
With that, she gave him one of her best glares that made Phil shiver a bit.  
Phil shook his head "don't worry I won't blindfold you or anything…. who's the evil bored joker?" he asked at the end quite curiously at that.  
Kelli just gave him a look that said you do not want to know "just…let's go just go yes" Phil quickly nodded. 

They got into a nice car a jaguar Xf if she was not mistaken and drove quickly to stark towers. When they got there Phil showed the receptionist his badge and she let him right up. They quickly got into a lift when a voice with an English accent (if she was not mistaken) asked them what they were here for. Phil stated that he needed to see Tony immediately. The voice that must have been an AI system told him that Tony was out. Phil rolled his eyes but continued asking for him until we got to the top floor where the door opened to see Tony and women who I recognised as pepper Potts kissing rather heavily. Phil cleared his voice very loudly "excuse me…" 

This has to be the most embarrassing moment of my life was the thought going round Kellie's head at that second Tony and pepper were still having their heavy make-out session until Phil coughed he looked embarrassed as well. I kinda zoned out until Tony made a remark about the security which I had to snort at Tony turned to me and looked me up and down to the displeasure of pepper. "And who are you," he asked a bit flirtier than I thought appropriate as he is what 8 years older.  
'Not your girlfriend and like what 8 years you're junior' I saw pepper shoot me a thankful look. 

'I am Kellie potter black belt and your teammate not that I had a choice in this though' at this, I shot Phil a dirty look which to mine and Tony 's amusement made him go white and look slightly sorry. I zoned out until Phil shook me out of my thoughts of duelling my friends when I get back by shaking my shoulder. 

'Come on hopefully Tony will show up at base sometime soon in the meantime we should get to the jet before it leaves'. The car ride was in one word boring the only entertaining thing was Phil's face when I started singing secrets when the silence became too much for me to bear. We got to the jet rather quickly considering New York's traffic which I heard was legendary for being very slow. At the jet, an agent took my bag from me and said it would be given back to me when it had been checked out I turned to the man. 

"If I find out one of you lot has so much as touched my undergarments so gods help you I will shove your gun so far up your arse you will be seeing bullets for weeks" I all but snarled. 

The man's face was so funny that I almost burst out laughing it was only the look on the blonde's face who I realised only seconds later was Captain America himself that stopped me. But when the guy I practically threatened walked away I burst out laughing. 

Captain Blondie looked at me concerned 'are you alright ma'am' he looked so generally concerned that I had to stop laughing.  
'I am fine thank you his face was really funny'. He was about to reply when a mousy brown-haired man who was a bit taller than me but seemed rather gentle to be on a military base like this one if I was being honest with myself came over. 

Captain Blondie obviously recognised him if his face was anything to go by 'Dr Banner I have heard a lot about you' Dr Banner looked a bit nervous. 

"Bruce Banner, amazing at science and has breath-taking anger management issues and is one of my heroes" I commented when I saw his face lose his smile when Captain Blondie greeted him. I turned to him with a smile and extended my hand for him to shake.  
"pleasure to meet you I am Kellie and your teammate for the foreseeable future, not that Nicky gave me much of a choice". 

Bruce gave me a look "you too then" I nodded fake sadly.  
"Yes, but I will make his life hell you don't piss off a prankster" Bruce had a look of horror "y-y-you're a prankster". I nodded a smirk making its way across my mouth. 

"I pity him I really do" Bruce murmured but the big grin made me think he couldn't wait till had my revenge. Captain Blondie looked very lost at our exchange but just as he was about to ask what the hell was going on Natasha walked up to us.  
"I'd come inside, it's going to get a little hard to breathe in a few minutes"


End file.
